Trigger Warning

In Deuteronomy, Moses is talking with the Israelites before they finally get to walk into the promised land after years of wandering.

He recaps a lot of the journey they all went through to get to this point, reminding them of all God has done for them even after they’ve disobeyed and strayed away from Him time and time again.

In chapter 10, Moses says this:

“For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who is not partial and takes no bribe. He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. Love the sojourner therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear. He is your praise. He is your God, who has done for you these great and terrifying things that your eyes have seen. Your fathers went down to Egypt seventy persons, and now the Lord your God has made you as numerous as the stars of heaven.” Deuteronomy 10:17-22 (ESV)

I want to focus in on what Moses says in verse 19- “Love the sojourner therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt.”

Moses is passing on to them that they need to love the sojourner, not just because God also loves them and says to do so. But, because they have been there themselves, and God took care of them during that time.

It’s time for them to now extend their own arms and show that same love and care to those who come across their paths who are in a similar situation.

This isn’t what we hear from our culture we live in today.

The world’s mantra today is: “avoid your triggers”.

Have you been through something difficult? Then, it’s best to avoid all things that remind you of it, or make you feel a painful memory from the past.

The idea is if we avoid and isolate ourselves from what could hurt us, we’ll heal better while living in our own protective bubble.

But it’s a lie destroying the hearts that welcome it in.

This stiff-arming technique keeps us from the healing that God cultivates within us when we step into loving and caring for others who are going through what we’re coming out of.

There is a temporary time of healing where avoidance belongs, and our hearts and minds do need some space.

But, where do we cross the line from taking space to heal into shutting everything and everyone out?

Left up to me, I would never make that call in the right time.

Because comfort to a healing heart is too sweet for me to move out of on my own. I have to trust God when He says it’s time for me to step out of my bubble.

There was a period of time after our miscarriage and after bringing Ace home from the hospital when I couldn’t stomach going to a baby shower. Having to join everyone in aweing over tiny newborn clothes that just reminded me of all the clothes Ace never got to wear because he was on life support at that age, or the constant ‘what-ifs’ that would creep in my mind about the baby we lost years ago; it just felt like too much for me.

So I stiff-armed that kind of event out of my life.

And that was ok.

For a time.

But, avoiding triggers sneakily slips into avoiding people. And God knew that’s what was happening with me.

One afternoon, an innocent floral baby shower invite came in the mail.

I opened it and put it on the fridge, fully planning to RSVP my regret and Amazon Prime a gift to them from the safety of my living room.

Then, I felt God’s tug that He was asking me to go to this one.

“No, thank you.” I thought, trying to convince myself that I knew better how to protect my heart than the One who made it.

I can be happy for her from a distance, but I just don’t feel ready to walk into that kind of thing, God.

But as days and weeks went by, God’s obvious direction turned into a pit in my stomach.

I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

So, mentally kicking and screaming, I went to that shower.

And I’m so grateful I did.

Not because I needed one more gift bingo or guess the poopy diaper candy bar in my life.

But God knew it was time before I realized it for myself.

He knew I needed to see that He not only had made me strong enough to be a part of something like that again, but, I got to see how He can use my past painful experiences to help bring comfort and healing to others around me.

As I sat down at the pastel pink-covered table and looked around the room, I found myself looking with eyes for the hurting.

I was there to celebrate the new mama, of course.

But, my heart went out to the woman across the room whom I knew was still feeling the sting from a miscarriage months ago. And to the woman who’s been wearily trying for a baby with her husband for a few years now. And to the grandma whose infant grandchild was clinging to life in a NICU a few states away.

Suddenly, this baby shower became so much more than just something to grit my teeth, clutch my heart, and make it through. It became a place where I had deep, intimate insight in how to step into comforting the hurting.

I knew exactly how to pray for these women during what may have seemed to others like a light-hearted event.

Because I was once there myself.

I don’t understand every detail, but I do understand a level of the pain they’re feeling.

And something so unexpected happened.

I was actually thankful for the road I had been on.

Not happy it happened.

Not a road I would willingly choose again.

But thankful that I serve a God who gives purpose to every tear I shed.

The very thing that I thought would destroy me had actually equipped me to step into someone else’s pain insightfully.

And right there in that baby décor-filled-room that I had planned to stiff-arm out of my life, healing started to mend my heart at a depth I didn’t think was going to be possible after all we’d walked through.

In no way did I feel ready to expose my healing heart to that yet.

But, God knew it was time.

God knows when it’s time for us to step into our triggers instead of avoid them so that we can taste the fruit of Him putting purpose in our pain as we extend our healing arms to help others around us.

But we will never get to taste this deep healing if we keep avoiding others in the name of protecting our own hearts.

What once instilled anxiety and difficult memories, still very much does at times. Honestly, I still buy older sized clothes for a friend’s baby shower because it makes it a little easier for me.

But, I no longer need to exhaust myself running the other direction.

Now it has a greater purpose- it’s become a tool in reaching God’s Hand and Heart out to others walking similar roads that I’ve walked.

Just as God’s Heart was for the Israelites to love and care for those who were sojourning as they once were, His Heart is for us to step into the brokenness and pain of those around us that we have once walked in ourselves.

I see now that sitting next to a friend at a baby shower who also had a miscarriage 3 years ago is loving her more than any text from the safety of my home ever would.

There is absolutely a time for healing where you might need to step away from other triggers.

But don’t let that dictate how you live the rest of your life.

Satan would love for our hurts to isolate us.

God wants to do the opposite of that.

He’s the only One who can give true healing through purpose in our pain.

Choosing to be our own protectors of our hearts only leads us into treating our days like mine fields watching closely every step so not to come across anything that would unsettle us.

But, this tactic for dealing with hurt isn’t a path to freedom and healing.

Instead, it’s only left us isolated, lonely, and fearful.

God knows the exact moment when comfort in isolation is turning to destruction in our hearts, and it’s time for us to step out of our protective bubbles and be used to love and care for those walking paths we’ve walked ourselves.

Can you trust His timing over what feels right?

From one of His children to another,

Christi